Dark Akademia Klub II: The Sociology of Sex

There’s a very fine line between bad sex and non-consensual sex. Bad sex is the neglect of someone’s pleasure. Non-consensual sex is the neglect of someone’s willingness. If we frame them as individual “failures,” they seem worlds apart — one selfish, one violent.

But what if we see pleasure not only as an individual pursuit but also as a cultural conditioning?

What if culture shapes what we’re allowed to say yes to, what we’re allowed to refuse — and even what we’re “supposed” to desire? And then the question shifts to the other person: If you can see someone is uncomfortable — unpleasured, unpresent — why do you continue? What does that say about you?

Or more unsettlingly: what does that say about the culture that raised you?

This is the sociology of sex. And in this session, we sit inside those contradictions.

• Who gets to experience sex as pleasure and who has to experience it as love language?

• Who gets to want without shame, and who learns to want in self-defense?

• Who gets to treat it as exploration, and who has to treat it as performance?

• Who gets to demand their desire fulfilled, and who’s conditioned to say yes because it feels easier than saying no?

What’s the Dark Akademia Klub?

Dark Akademia Klub is an intimate critical-thinking salon where structured debate meets self-reflection. 

Each session begins with a theme, then moves into guided, Jubilee-style discussions where participants explore opposing perspectives, switch sides, and challenge their own assumptions.

The goal isn’t to win arguments, but to deepen understanding — of ourselves, of others, and of the cultural forces shaping our beliefs. It’s a space for slow thinking, honest conversation, and respectful disagreement, where ideas are sharpened not to show off, but to truly see.

Our Chapter II Counsel: Sheilla Njoto

Sheilla Njoto is a sociologist with expertise in tech and gender. She’s currently exploring the sociology of intimacy — how desire, consent, and pleasure are shaped by culture rather than choice alone.

In this session, she’ll be basing her facilitation on two widely discussed texts: The Right to Sex (Srinivasan, 2021) and Tomorrow Sex Will Be Good Again (Angel, 2021).